`` STARS ARE JUST THE HOLES TO HEAVEN-*

Friday, June 25, 2004

一个人生活

叶子在窗外轻摇动人行道没有行人走过
镜子里的我很不像我自从你离开了
我变得很软弱你的影子在每一个角落
好像是在提醒着我少了你的陪伴我现在有多寂寞

我想我可以习惯一个人生活我想我可以假装不曾爱过
冰的夜里让眼泪温热我
感觉如果要走谁能说 no
我想我可以习惯一个人生活在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱你怎么会是这个结果
爱情是个梦而我睡过头

`` timed out-- 6/25/2004 12:54:00 AM

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Ah Well..
Here we are again..
alot happened.. but will whisper and laugh.
dun wanna care about wat others are doing for art.. how far they are getting.. will follow my own pace. is this right, or wrong?
what is right? what is wrong?
feel like eating crabmeat.. saw him eating it.. omg.. can anyone look cuter stuffing a crabmeat into one's mouth?!
hmm... broke my record of 1 year and 4 months plus.. hmm...

scrolled up towel in a bun or crabmeat is good and reality..

undergoing taming

Ah yes.. I have suddenly become sure of an emotion .. It was total nervousness when i saw him, as in .. those whereby you go practically dry in ur mouth and suddenly incapable of swallowing?yeah.. i was very sure of that.. and the tingling sensation within or juz beneath ur skin whereby you feel peace yet wild pleasure and cackling happiness.. ugh., but yes!!(screams to the sky)

`` timed out-- 6/19/2004 11:42:00 PM

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Right.. staring at this blank post page.. or watever u'd like to call it..
got so much feelings.. but not much to tell..
Hia.. really living in the past liddat.. Them everywhere But here.. Can't wait to see them again..
argh!! feeling really rugged and wretched..
Felt like a fool today..
was actually supposed to meet J but was stood up.. Bai Chi.

Meeting him 2molo.. hmm.. no feeling @ all.. how?!
Its like he's been a dream 4 too long and now he coincides with reality.. I'm waking up. The Awakening.. lol..
private joke.

haven't even packed my bag now.. and its now like, 12:40 sumthing?
hahax.. i would have packed my bag last week all ready to go if it was the me last year.. and i would not stop talking.. now.. it kinda feels as if its ok if nothing had happened in the first place, as if its planned so that i have at least something to look forward to during this dreary "hols".
And i wonder if its fading, or just swallowed up because of the eventful week i had.. or mayhap thats what helps u to get over a guy? remind me the next time i fall again.
rather ironic that u say u fall 4 someone as if sucummbing urself eh. But read that u say u fall head over heels cos its as if u see someone beautiful so u missed a step, thus falling 4 someone. Reader's Digest posts real solid stuff sometimes.

dun really like the arrangement i have for myself tommorow.. Damnation..I miss my XTS'cd already.. just hope 'nice will hurry up n help me burn..thanks anyway.

The Best Crew

`` timed out-- 6/17/2004 12:27:00 AM

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

This is so damn pathetic. i got only 2 huggs in total? and guess wat? i GAVE myself 2 huggs. :D chee, Shiuan.. at least i love you!
i'm so shredding that bloody thing off my template.

Last week was a total
W-O-W.
W-O-W
Double Wow factor
finished my dance class.. omg.. now that both Choco n Toy back in Taiwan.. feeling so bloody empty.. For example,the monday last wk, i was only getting home now..
ARGH!!! how?! really really miss the dance classes.. shit it.. should have known something liddat would happen.. !@#$%%^&*
Got their photos though!! shiok man

gonna harp on TBC .. haha.
dunnoe y.. but feeling very vexed @ my mom lately.. rugged man.. i just need to find my way of living and live it. i'm bending. I guess i'll just live to form memories for myself.

Rugged hair ball

The Best Crew.

oh yah..borrowed pants 4rm 'nice.. cos i dun have any decent ones. and her mom was giving me the hopeful grin , asking me to influence her daughter to wear skirts. PLz, Mrs Lim.. i have to take care of my pants first..
Borrowed the bloody pants so that i dun embarrass myself on T. Jul saw Means again today. Hope i'll never see Mit again.. i'm clinging on very fine, thank you.Watched HP again.

Nat: in case u're reading this, i have broadened my mind and had started loaning ppl my HP bks.. eg. Eunice and.. erm.. tats abt all.. but i seriously dun mind lending u.. and dun worry.. no rules this time.. if u wanna borrow that is.. juz make sure u dun bend the spine.. stroke it. qoute unqoute..lol.. if u get the jitz..

`` timed out-- 6/15/2004 12:01:00 AM

Thursday, June 03, 2004

well.. haven been in here much since.. monday i guess..
hai.. had a dream yesterday.. omg
now having deja vu..
a certain touch and set of lips reminds me of that dream.. and itz already at night.. gonna have another dream to top that one
hai.. aargh... i'm so worried abt next next sat! my contacts are like killing me.. and that means i have to suffer by wearing it in front of him.. damnit
ok.. really stupid topic here abt contacts, dreams n all.. but hey.. wth.. thats wat had been in my life lately..
oh.. considering that i stayed over at eunice' hus that day.. fun.. but too short atime..
watched Kill Bill late into 3 sumthing.. only me and Athalia survived to the last.. ate pizza and filmed some home videos of each of us presenting a box each.. think i overdid the filming part.. could c ppl are irritated by me swishing out the cam everytime. but wth. i am sick of that too!
Oh yes..
saw something rather perturbing in school..
while i was outta the toilet, walked by Mitchell's class and there he was, talking to this gal, and then the gal was like obviously flirting.. ugh.. and tuggin' his bloody sleeve.. and he was like smiling coyly and trying to walk away.. so i had that:( excuse me people..) look on my face, and just walked past, that blissful memory of him looking @ me when i came down for reccess, and he was like looking at me, gone.. poof. and then to make things even more brilliant, i heard the girl calling him by his full name in that 'tei' voice.. my knees almost buckled..
feeling dense.. or maybe i am?
can't help comparing myself.. seriously.. i'm like very VERY.VERY sick of being this.
freakin' piece o' lard staring @ the com.. with no identity of what i was meant to be.
i need a number tag!!
maybe they can design this earrings with an expiry dates.. i'll b sure to get one.. or use the gardenia bread tags.
heard they already had that
omg.. really really. feel like dissapointing some sick kids..
can i just get involved?
what are you supposed to do at this point of time? even AB seems disgusting now. get away. have this kinda feeling for M. wired.. like he's the only one i can accept now.. but oh.. what foolishness..!
i know i had not got it that bad because i was only affected.. but no pangs.. nope. dang.. can't i even lap in the luxury of having hard heavy thick soups of creamy emotions.. dang i'm already full.. but.. i do need some cleansing.. and i love you God.. but i dun mean babtising.. i need a true cleansing with those rich old emotions that are cracking away in the attic in me.. collecting spiderwebs so much so that i can't even find them.. cos that was 2 yrs ago since i am sure of an emotion..

man.. am i lost or what..?! Hey there! Mr Rex!

`` timed out-- 6/03/2004 07:44:00 PM